Wednesday, December 31, 2003

In a few hours time, this year will end. That is serious to me. I've done a bit of self-reflection/reflecting, and I'm not so happy with myself. I could've done better. I'm thinking of the song Big Yellow Taxi and there was one part which was so true,"...you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone". *Sigh* This year was good, I tell you. It's like I don't want to let this year go. I don't feel prepared to face the next year, which is in a few more hours. I guess all of us feel that way. I think no one's ever prepared for a new year. This year seemed to fly past too fast! I don't want to grow older! (Take me to Neverland, someone!) I will turn 17 in a few more days...a year closer to the grave. Really.

I'm not celebrating the new year. I don't feel like it. I'm just gonna sit in my bed tonight praying to God. I'm not going to eat bbq, light the sky up with fireworks, do the countdown with everyone, or play really loud music. I don't see the importance, the significance, of it all. It's just to have fun. I really think the new year is the time for us to right our wrongs, for us to realize our mistakes. It is time for us to remember the good things in life and appreciate it, because the new year might not be so...promising. Has the world forgotten about God??? He's the one that has given us life to live another year!!! It's really sad...

Dear God,
I'm sorry for all the wrong doings I've done. I'm sorry for hurting other people's feelings. I'm sorry for forgetting you. Please be in my heart as this year comes to an end. Let me be reminded of your love...let me feel your grace again. Bring me closer to you. Bless the world, because it is dying. Bless my home. Shower your never-ending blessings upon my family. Give us strength to face the new year's challenges. Help us all God. We need you here...

Love your son, Lyndelle

I feel better now. I'm sure God will make a way for us all. I'm praying for the world tonight. My prayer will be a bit longer this time.

Well, that's all I have time for. I want to sit down and watch tv.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS!

send comments to lyndellen@hotmail.com

?dael had a question at 8:06 PM

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

I have nothing to blog today. Except that I watched Jurassic Park 1 and 2 in one go. I was so bored, so what the heck. I know it's old, but it's still good.

I still can't believe that school will start this Monday. OMG. Two months already? I'm wishing for a summer holiday!!! That's 3 months of freedom dude! Two months just isn't enough. But hey, once I finish school, I won't be able to count the days...until I enter college or something. *sigh* I'm a free bird.

I haven't got much to say (or anything worth saying for that matter), so I guess I'm wasting my time sitting here trying to think of what to type.

Good night.

?dael had a question at 6:42 PM

Monday, December 29, 2003

There was a wedding dinner last night at Penview Inn. It was the second dinner, and it was called the "halal" dinner. I've come to the conclusion that the people on the first dinner, on Saturday night, was not "halal" and so were for people who weren't SDAs. My sister and I were like surrounded by people we hardly knew. We were both so uncomfortable there. You see, our parents went for Sheldon's and Bernadine's wedding reception at Hilton. So we were left alone there...*wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

I've been wondering whether the episode of Smallville last week was the last one for the 2nd season. If it is, I hope that they will continue on to season 3. I don't want to have all my favourite shows all finished. I mean, why couldn't they show ALIAS season 2??? Why did they have to replace it with Beastmaster...and do you know what TV3 did??? They restarted Beastmaster from the first episode...what the f*ck are they doing??? It's just so frustrating...I've been so frustrated that I emailed TV3...and no replies. DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!

Sorry about that. *sigh*

?dael had a question at 9:39 AM

Saturday, December 27, 2003

I woke up early today. Initially, I woke up at 6:30 am sharp. I was supposed to open the church for someone. But then, I felt so sleepy I slept until 6:57 am. Had 27 mins of additional sleep :)

The choral speaking went very well today!!! There was only one problem: the PA system wasn't co-operating! It wasn't the PA men's fault, really. But it went well. And our singing group FRIENDS sang today. We screwed up at the last part...it was a last minute thing. We had only practiced the night before. Wasn't Eugene's fault. The children's choir was scheduled, but suddenly on the bulletin, it said Eugene. Panic dude! What to do? Lantak aje!

Well, nothing really happened today, and besides, I can't concentrate on blogging now...so, good night!

?dael had a question at 8:09 PM

Friday, December 26, 2003

Heh. I played for another wedding today. Yes, unbelievable. I've played for 4 (I think) in English church now. It was for Victor and Liza. Their colour scheme was pink and white. It was not a bad combination, really. The decorations were simple but still nice. It wasn't over- or under-decorated. There were not many people who came for the wedding, which was good because the less people there are, the less nervous I become. Then afterwards, all of us went to eat lunch at Liza's house. The wedding reception is on Sunday night. I heard that there will be some sort of dinner on Saturday night as well. Two dinners, man! But we (my sis and I) will only be going for the Sunday one. My parents are going to Sheldon's one (I think). I'm not too sure.

Anyways, there will be another special xmas program tonite. There will be a shadow play, where you only see the actors' shadows. Tomorrow, there will be a special xmas prog also. It's suppose to be done by the earliteens, but some of the youth will be helping out also. There are so few of them that I feel that the youth are doing it, not the earliteens.

That's all I have for today.

?dael had a question at 12:36 PM

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas!!!

It's xmas time again. Somehow I don't feel the xmas spirit (as everyone puts it). I'm longing for the xmas celebrations you see on the television, like lots of food, lots of presents, and gathering around a fireplace...*sigh*. I guess I'll just have to make do with whatever I have here. Like rain for example. Ugh.

I went to visit two houses today (although I didn't want to, my parents did). They were Haydn's and Hacm's kampung houses. Very big, you know. We had to drive like an hour to get there. My parents and my sis went for visiting but I'm staying at home. I don't wanna go.

Before we left, there was something that hit me when I listened to the radio. The radio was like playing people's first thoughts on xmas. Some said "shopping", "shoes", "presents", and whatnot, but never did I hear "Jesus" or "God". Have we forgotten the true meaning of xmas? I mean, isn't xmas suppose to remind us of the birth of Jesus??? It seems that most of us celebrate xmas just because it's our favourite celebration and all. I don't know lah.

Then I thought that xmas isn't just about presents, sitting around the fireplace and all. It's about God, and that's all it is. I told myself that I shouldn't feel down on xmas...instead I should be glad and thankful. I mean, now's a good time to thank God for everything, including sending His Son to die for us. And we've forgotten about that. *sigh*

Anyways, for you guys who feel down, don't! Put God in your heart, you'll feel better, trust me. Remember that xmas isn't about the material stuff, it's also the spiritual stuff. Once again, merry christmas!

GOD BLESS!!!

?dael had a question at 3:13 PM

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

I forgot to add the allergic reactions I got, and the time I lost my pencil at camp. And if you noticed in my last post (Tuesday's), I said five days. I guess I was wrong. It was four days. Hehe.

When I got back from camp, I got all itchy everywhere on my body (except on that part, ahem). The itchy spots were like bigger-than-usual mosquito bites which swelled up and got really red. I freaked. I didn't really sleep that night because the sensation of itchiness kept me awake. I came to a conclusion that this was caused by the dirty water at camp. It was dirty you know, you can see black stuff floating around in it. But then, last night (Tuesday night), the itchy spots came up again but not so bad as before. Now I have a different conclusion: I'm allergic to eating too much egg. Yes. My mom has it. She gets the itchies on her legs as well. I got mine on my legs and arms. Anyways, there were lots of eggs at camp, almost every meal. On Monday night, I had no itchies. Then, on Tuesday, my mom cooked egg. I ate it. That was when the itchies came up again. This must be the reason.

And oh, about the pencil. I was just so frustrated when it got lost on Saturday. But I tried not to show it -- until that night after the social. Some of you know the pencil. It's a shaker, given to me by a friend four years ago. I've grown quite fond of the pencil. As Elvina said, "...Lyndelle loves that pencil..." when she annouced to everyone that I had lost it. And I won't deny it. It's special to me. My friend, namely Chun, didn't feel nice seeing my not feeling nice. He searched for it with me. We looked everywhere. When I gave up, some of my other friends helped Chun look for it. Then, I went over to the girls' house and asked them. At the same time, I returned a pencil Chun found to Veronica. Minutes later, when I was in utter despair and imagining my horrible future of not having the pencil in my possession, Veronica came over. She found my pencil in her room! She admitted that she didn't know how it got there. I don't either. How did it get there??? I think a girl brought it there, because I never really entered the girls' house. I only went there to collect clean water and asked if anyone saw my pencil. Anyways, I was so happy, not to mention relieved, when I got it back! I thanked her profusely, I did. Now I'm never gonna bring the pencil anywhere that is too far away from home.

As for today, nothing really happened, except that I noticed that my cat's belly got smaller. It's been losing weight since I wasn't around. Maybe it wasn't fed as much as before. I think I overfeed my cat, you know. And I don't think that it's sick. Okay. I'm done...

?dael had a question at 5:01 PM

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

What an eventful weekend I've had. And now, I just gonna...enjoy summarizing all five days for you guys. Here goes.

Friday Woke up early in the morning at around 6:00 to get ready to go to camp. Ate a quick breakfast before taking a quick shower. Packed a little bit more, then left the house just before 7:30 am. I had brought my violin along for a little entertainment. After meeting up with friends, we loaded our stuff on the bus and waited in there for others to arrive. Finally they came. Just before we left we did a headcheck thingy and some of us paid our camp fees. Then we left. The road was quite jammed. We sat in the bus for like less than an hour before we got on a ferry to cross the river. We got off the bus (and some of us bought nice "kampung snacks" as referred to by friends) and unto the ferry. Must be some kind of safety measure, to get of the bus, I mean. After the rather fascinating ferry ride, we got on the bus again, enjoying our snacks. Then, in like an hour or so, we finally reached Siar Beach. I was kinda expecting a little bit more when I saw the place. Then, we settled down and went through some briefing. After that, some of us went to the beach, while I stayed in the lodging house(?) for a while. And that was when I learnt how to play rock on my violin! Thanks Jason! Then, we makan food cooked by Linda, Veronica, and Elsie. It was like fried noodles with anjing panas (literal translation of hotdogs). Elvina and Jess learnt how to roll! Afterwards, we had our first program, and in the evening, I did one program with Jessica. I was acting as a guy who was totally biased towards this girl, played by Jess. I must have acted well because Elsie started saying things like "I hate you, Lyndelle!". I had to remind them that I wasn't as mean as my character. Oh well. Soon after, we showered and went to sleep. *I left out a few of the other activities because I have 4 more days to write.

Saturday Woke up at 6:00 and went to the beach. Quickly showered before we, the leaders, went to hide from the campers. They didn't find us, you know! We hid well! It was like this: they were supposed to find us to get their breakfast. But they still got it nonetheless. Had our devotion by Pr Chai. We had more activities that day, and one of the games I headed was called Waterball Samurai. Everyone got wet (including me because a few guys and I had a waterball fight after the game) and had fun. It kept raining the whole day!!! And then there was this pony or horse that visited our camp. It kept eating the grass. We had fun calling the horses names of our friends! Funny! At night, we had a social. But before the games began we had like a dedication session, where we prayed for the person next to us. And as usual, I was moved to tears when I prayed for Jason. He sat beside me. Then, we played like hell. I had this punishment from passing the parcel game. Guess what. It was "blow the balloon until it pops". One of my biggest fears. But I went on to do it. Although, it didn't pop at my face because I poked it with a blunt pen. And we showered and went to sleep straight away. Nope, I lied. Hehe. I slept at 12 midnight. Some slept at 2 that night...or morning.

Sunday Last day of camp. Woke up early, and some people went back earlier than most of us. We had our last session (by me again!). I could tell that the people were restless because they wanted so much to go to the beach. So I made it short. Then we all went to the beach. We had much fun there. We played on this plank-bridge made by Chun and Wycliffe. Then we threw our balloons into the sea, but they kept coming back. And guess what. The pony-horse came back to eat! The bus came, and we went home. Got off the bus again during the ferry-ride. And again we bought food. We ate and slept as we went home. When I got home, I slept a little before going back to kampung. Also, I also got a bad cough. It's like when there's alot of thick phlegm kinda cough. Runny nose too.

Monday I have to cut short. I need to go to church soon. I met my baby cousin Warren for the first time! He is so damn cute with his over-chubby cheeks. Played with him so much. Still coughing. Then, came back home from kampung. Yes, that's right. I was there for one day only. Done.

I'd type more but I gotta go to church to practice for a special Friday Night Christmas Special Prog. Byes!

?dael had a question at 5:47 PM

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Woohoo! Went to watch Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Some [pathetic] people translated that into Bahasa as Kepulangan Raja. I mean, how lame is that? We should never translate anything into Bahasa. It was a good movie, and quite lengthy, I might add. It was three hours over. The movie duration wasn't that bad, but the feeling of...uh, "releasing" came. You know, like when your bladder tells you that it needs to get rid of...you know. It was a real torture. I didn't want to up and leave during the movie, because I didn't want to miss any part of it. Hmm...let's see. I can say that LotR 3 was the most tear-jerking movie when compared to LotR 1 & 2. There were many scenes where it can really touch your heart [it did mine], like how loyal Sam was to Frodo, and how the human-[half]elf lovers reunited. *Sigh* It was a good ending. For the benefit of those who have not watched the movie, don't look at this next sentence in italic. Not to mention that Sam finally got married with Rose or was it Rosie Cotton and had 2 cute children. I mean, how good is that, man?

Okay. I'm just gonna tell you guys that I won't be blogging on Friday and Saturday, perhaps Sunday, because I'm going to an AY camp. Can't wait. It's gonna be fun, I tell ya! That's all, because I'm gonna get a few minutes of early sleeping. Just a few minutes. My eyes kinda hurt the whole day. It must be my eye muscles. Really hurts to look around. I must turn my whole head to look around instead of moving my eyes. It really hurts.

Okay. I'm done!

?dael had a question at 8:23 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Today was my last violin lesson for the year. It wasn't much of a lesson anyway, because the teacher was busy handling things outside of class. So I basically left the room all by myself for 30 minutes. I wasn't wasting time, mind you. I was playing a demanding piece called Le Abeille [The Bee], although I forgot who the composer was. I hope I spelled it right because the title isn't English. And also today was my last theory lesson. We learned how to do modulation. Seriously, it doesn't look that hard. I haven't had hands on experience of doing it, so I can't really say.

Right now I'm getting ready to go for a practice in church. I'm just so lucky to live right next to church. But there are also the bad things that come with it. I mean, you can't stay at home [like the others] and not be called by friends to go to church. I don't mean that I don't go to church services, but the after-church programs. Sometimes I'm drained of energy, and the sucky thing is that I can't rest at home undisturbed like everyone else when they feel drained. I mean, how sucky is that??? Sometimes it just ain't fair you know. But what to do right?

Christmas is upon us. We've got like less than 10 days to it. I'm not really excited about it as I used to be. The happiness isn't there anymore. I just wish I could celebrate Xmas in places where there is snow. Maybe I don't appreciate a non-snowy Xmas, I don't know. Am I asking for too much? But hey, I'm not asking for presents or anything. I just wanna feel the warmth and love you see the television. Huh. It's television, I know, but it certainly looks good to feel as the tele people do. I just want to lie in the Great Whiteness of it all, to feel the coolness of it, and to roll in it. *Sigh*

Listening to Gloria Estafan's Xmas album [I think released a few years back] makes me long for snow. *Sigh* Let me stop here, lest you shall be bored to death with my neverending whining. Stop.

?dael had a question at 6:00 PM

Monday, December 15, 2003

I was so bored today I made this picture (with Adobe Photoshop, no less). Click here to look at it. I was like imagining I was a designer for some vampire computer game. It's not that nice I know, but I can improve on it. I borrowed the vampire picture from a site (I forgot where). If only my scanner worked that I'd draw my own pics. Something's wrong with it. Just won't scan. Something about Twain32 or something like that. I've been wanting to scan my art and put it up for all to see on my webbie, which of course doesn't exist yet.

Lets see what happened this morning. Ah, at 9:00 am was the choral speaking practice. Some of us AY decided to help Silas out with the earliteens. But I honestly feel like I don't belong to choral speaking. I prefer something with a tune, you know. It's just rhythm and words. Like it's lacking something. Oh well. Just helping out a fren. Afterwards, I must drag him back to choir. Must say help me out here. At least help the tenors.

At 11:15 am was my last piano lesson for the year. I can't believe that I'll actually miss going for lessons. Tomorrow's my last violin lesson. Then, I will resume on January 9 (yes, I know). It falls on a special day. Huh. During the piano lesson, my teacher asked me what I want to do after I'm outta school, and I told her I'd like to do music. Then...I got worried. Which college should I go to??? Hmm...dad says to go to an SDA college because it's much cheaper. Which is true, because my dad's a worker for the SDA thingy and thus, my college fees will get subsidised.

Eh! Camp is coming!!!

?dael had a question at 2:14 PM

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Woohoo! This week's over and I'm glad it is! The big programs are over and the stress is gone. Now, I only have one more big program [kinda] which is the AY Camp. I'm not too stressed about it, because it's gonna be fun eventhough I'm leading out and all. Can't wait, really.

The Christmas Cantata was quite a success, but Eugene said that it wasn't really that smooth-running. I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with the program. Maybe he's paranoid or something. And now we have like two weeks off, from choir, that is. But we still have to support Silas in his choral speaking. I had my first taste of it, and it's not that bad. He gave me some short solo sections, one of them is where I have to personify a dog. Of all creatures, a dog.

Anyways, that's all I'm gonna type. I wanna eat my food. My Grilled Chicken Rice, which I have not eaten in a long while, is waiting for me.

I'm coming...

?dael had a question at 6:10 PM

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Yesterday my friends and I went out to watch Haunted Mansion. It's not too bad a movie, and I recommend it to everyone. Scary? Not really. But shocking, yes. It really startles you so much. There was one part of the movie where skeletons came to life. The whole cinema was screaming, especially the girls. I won't be surprised if any guys did scream. But my friends and I were laughing, not at the movie, but because everyone else were screaming like crazy. Really, they did.

Anyways, last night I saw a roach in the toilet. Straight away I wanted to kill it. With what? Heh. You're gonna laugh at this. Floor cleaning liquid and some strong liquid bleach. It works like magic. Of course before that I thought of smashing the bug with rolled up newspaper. But then that would make a lot of noise. And besides, I wanted to see the bug suffer like hell before it died. So I splashed the roach with the floor cleaning liquid first. It flipped over on its back, its legs moving like crazy. Then, I slowly poured drops of liquid bleach on it. It struggled so much that I quickly stood on the toilet bowl. I though that it was going to climb on me or something. It soon stopped struggling. Only one of its legs was quivering. I scooped it up with the newpaper and crushed it. I can still hear the squish. You know what? I split its head from its body. Ugh.

I've been having late nights and I'm not sure why. I used to fall asleep at around 10 pm. But now, it seems, I can only fall asleep between 11:30 pm-12:00 am. Maybe it is because of my "inactivity" during the day. I don't mean "sleep" but more like just sitting around not doing anything that requires lots of energy. Maybe when I go to bed, I still have this energy that's keeping me awake. Perhaps all of my energy isn't expended yet. Hmm...just maybe.

Oh well.

?dael had a question at 10:57 AM

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Haha. Guess what. I got my violin results already. I've already told you, I sat for an internal exam, which means that the exam is done by the school itself. Standards are still the same though, if you're thinking they lowered it or something. And since it's done by the school itself, the results come out amazingly quick. Sat for it on Friday, got the results on Tuesday. Nice eh? My results:

Piece 1: Allegro attrib. Handel> 26/30
Piece 2: Salut d'Amour Elgar>27/30
Piece 3: Intermezzo Kodaly>28/30
Scales/Arpeggios>18/21 *ugh*
Sight Reading>19/21
Aural Test>17/18
TOTAL>135/150 Pass with Distinction

And I still can't believe it. I thought I screwed up so much. And now for my thank you speech: [as recorded on the 9th of December]

"Thank you so much! I would never have though I would gain such excellent *cough* results!

"First and foremost, I would like to thank my Heavenly Father, because only through Him, all things are possible. He has shown His grace to me. He must've did something to the examiners' ears.

"Secondly, I would like to thank my violin teacher, Mr Alvin, who has shown me that only through practice, perfection is attainable. He has been most supporting *cough* in the lessons. Up till now, he still talks about how low I got low marks for my scales and arpeggios. Not forgetting my accompanist, Mrs Ling, who has practiced so much with me that I get the feeling she couldn't really play the pieces at all.

"Now, I would like to thank my lovely parents. They have given me lots of support, most importantly financial support. I mean, where do they get all that money from, man? And also, a big thank you to my sister. She has tolerated the here and there imperfections during practice times. And she has also allowed herself to be moved by my music, to be lulled to sleep.

"And last but not least, I would like to thank my fans *choke* I mean, friends, who have all this time supported me and believed in me. I love you all!"

Yes. And oh, Eugene told me last night that I won't have to play for the cantata. He has already sequenced the songs! I'm relieved, but what about all those times I practised half-dead? All gone to waste???

Hey, you guys should listen to Bond's Strange Paradise [Shine] by Borodin. Very beautiful, the way he harmonises it all.

?dael had a question at 9:08 AM

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Hmmm...lets see. Yes. This Saturday's the Christmas Cantata. Oh dear, I haven't practiced...I pray that it'd be a success! I'm kinda worrying about it, maybe because I'm playing for it. Argh.

I still can't believe I lived last week. It was just so stressful...this week was what I was looking forward to. I can't wait for the camp. I'm so sure it'd be fun, like all camps. You know what I enjoy most about camps? The trip to the camping site. The longer, the better. I still remember the 4-hour drive to Batang Ai where we all rode a bus. It was so fun. Are we using a bus to go to Siar Beach? I heard that the trip's about an hour and, plus, we have to ride a ferry across this big river. That reminds me of a really bad experience when I was waiting for a ferry ride. I'm not going to tell what it was. Brings back bad and (literally) *painful* memories. Ouch.

We have about 2/3 more weeks before Christmas! Yeah! Wonder if I'll give presents away this year...not going to think about it. No-brainer. Actually, I don't even have to think about it; the answer's always the same :)

?dael had a question at 1:17 PM

Saturday, December 06, 2003

I'm pooped. Today was the Christmas Festival of Praise. It was exciting for me, mainly because I was invovled in the song service and all. We had 1 electric guitar, 2 violins, 1 sax, 2 clarinets, and 2 trumpets. Not forgetting my keyboards of course.

I wonder how our choir sang. I'm sure we did quite well, although we couldn't really hear ourselves. Them speakers were facing away from us. And there was only one of those speakers they put on the stage so that the performers can hear themselves. It was behind us. Sad, you know.

Kewl. There's a beautiful white moth flying outside my window.

Oh. It's gone now.

As for my violin exam...kinda okay. I just hope that I can at least get merit. Please!!! It wend much faster than I had initially expected. Maybe I played my first piece way too fast (until I jumbled up the running notes). Anyways, Dr Geraldine and a Russian teacher, Ms Irina Titova, were the examiners. I was totally unprepared for that. It was freaky. While I was playing my pieces, Dr G kept sniffing. No, she wasn't touched by my playing...I wish. Then, afterwards, she blew her nose. Totally distracting and...disturbing. Ugh.

Okay. I'm done. I'm tired of typing.

Where are you little moth???

?dael had a question at 6:55 PM

Thursday, December 04, 2003

One day closer to my exam. I'm really worried. I've had a "good" record thus far, and I'm afraid of spoiling it. You know what I mean. My pieces aren't perfect yet, and so are my scales. I just hate this.

Once this week is over I'll feel much better. There are so many things in my head right now. Christmas Festival of Praise, Christmas Cantata, Youth Camp...help me God! I'll just have to keep telling myself that I'll live through it all. I'm sure I can.

I'm not someone who can really handle stress well. And besides, I don't talk about my problems much because I don't really think talking about it will help. Maybe's that's the reason. I keep it all in.

I just noticed that Hotmail changed its layout and all. Some people can say, "Finally you've checked our email". Hey. What can I do???

God Bless! In our weakness He is strong.

?dael had a question at 7:58 AM

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Apologies for you blog addicts out there. I've been busy lately that I just didn't have the time to blog. Busy? On a holiday? Yes. Amazing, is it not? Holidays are busy times, mind you. There are many programs to organize and run.

We had a special Friday night program which went very well, albeit we ended 20 minutes earlier. I knew I should've made the shadow skit longer. It was good, nonetheless. The theme was Teamwork. I'm not going to elaborate on it. It's pretty general.

Had to play for a wedding this last Sunday. That's my third time playing in English church. I still remember people's wedding I played for:

1. Renie & Julie's.
2. Eugene & Ratna's.
3. Spicer & Gina's.

Not forgetting the numerous times I played for the kampung churches. For me, being a pianist for weddings is stressful. You have to tolerate the shouts from the wedding co-ordinator, which unfortunately, is my mother. I have to keep cool. Angry feelings won't allow me to play the piano the right way. Ugh.

I had to force myself to come sit on the computer here instead of practicing my violin. My exam's this coming Friday. Argh. It's an internal exam...I hope I can get a distinction. I've had less 6 months to prepare for it. My teacher's nuts (although not to someone I know). I have just like finished my grade 4 this June-July-August. He wants me to sit for grade 5 so that next year I can sit for grade 6. I'm like "I don't really think I can do it." Worry worry worry.

I think that's all I can write. At least my heart feels a tad lighter. Just a tad. Sigh.

And oh, pray for me. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

?dael had a question at 9:58 AM