Cute, aren't I?
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Monday, February 27, 2006


Last night was a blast. The Chamber Choir organized a Valentine's Day Concert. A great deal of -- last minute, if I might add -- preparation went into the concert's success. And yes, it was a success. The free peanuts were good :)

As usual, I was asked to play for many people.

Emphasis on "many."

Sometimes I really beat myself up for my inability to say "no." And it's just two letters, one syllable. It's like go through an inner struggle when that word pops up in my mind in response to someone's request. So yeah, I got myself a huge bag of stress free of charge.

I was also asked to play for a special program with MC's no. 1 top worship leader, Nathaniel. Kudos to Nat for his inspirational song service! That was great, but I hate that it was essential that I wore an oversized, translucent white robe because we were Levites. However, I was nicely hidden behind the piano most of the time. And I can't even believe that I got comfortable in that robe! Ugh!

Anyways, I was probably the second busiest person last night -- the program coordinator, Daron, had much to do too. Restecp!

One thing I should've done was to take a copy of the program lineup. I had to go back to the piano thrice when I was halfway walking back to my seat, which was at the back of the room. I think it's videotaped: me stupidly going back and forth to and from the piano when I should have remained there!!!

I got a hell lot of recognition last night. Many people came to compliment my *ahem* piano skills. Half of the time I was trying to put on the sincerest smile and profusely thanking them, and the other half I didn't know what they were talking about. Something about "sensitivity" or accompanying or some sh*t like that. They also pointed out my notes-less playing. Thats mean I had every song memorized. I often wonder how I can easily absorb and retain "just for fun" songs, but I can't learn my piano pieces by heart. If you're wondering, I'm back into piano lessons, because I think life is boring without them. *dodges tomatoes* Hey, no scales! That's an upside!

Recognition is very gratifying in the early stages. I just know that requests are going to flood in the not-so-distant future. Recognition now, regret later. Wahhhhhhh!

Still, it was a blast. I wish we had like an "afterparty" or something. I went back to my room so fired up that I couldn't even think of collapsing on my bed. Something I eventually did, though. I finally got sleepy.

And one more thing I utterly cannot forget to mention: THANK YOU GOD! You have blessed me with such an amazing talent for music! I can't imagine being without it! Thank you, thank you thank you! Now I want a glass piano! Nah, just kidding.

I have frequently added to my complaints of a busy, musical life with this self-coined saying, "Such is the life of a performer."

And truly, it is. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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?dael had a question at 8:57 AM

Friday, February 24, 2006


I seem to kicking a lot of things today unintentionally today.

Stubbed my "pinky" toe this morning on one of the legs of my bed. The nail cracked into the fleshy area.

At first, I thought I could wear shoes because I had the nail cut. I didn't think that the rough edges would get stuck to the socks and the pressure the shoe is putting on my toe would be painful.

Stupid me.

I'm trying not to make my limp obvious. Should've worn sandals.

I wish my feet had eyes.

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?dael had a question at 1:45 PM

Friday, February 17, 2006

**This Week**

Things I have done this week:

  1. Walked straighter. Head up high. No more hunching. Yoga helps me to be mindful of my body.
  2. Trying to catch the reading bug. I'm forcing myself to read a lot more now. Must make it a habit! Currently reading the first book of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time Series. Yes, must start with what I enjoy reading most: Fantasy.
  3. Completed all my reading reports and assignments and studied some Thai (for a test which I have just done).
  4. Serenaded for couples on Valentine's Day before sunrise. What a joy it was, to see the shock on the women's faces, to see them beam widely, to see their teary eyes, and to see them embrace their husbands or boyfriends. Waking up early was well worth it.
  5. Ate less. I find that although my body is still underweight, my face is getting rounder. Ugh. Food is so much harder to stay away from now...

Five things isn't so bad I guess. I'm gonna try to keep up #1, 2, and 5. Wish me luck!

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?dael had a question at 2:21 PM

Friday, February 10, 2006

**I Walked...**

...where legendary kings and queens of Thailand walked hundreds of years ago! The grounds where the war against the Burmese invaders was fought...I was there!

My class organized a field trip to the Grand Palace in Bangkok, The National Museum, and the Ancient City of Ayutthaya.

Truly magnificent: The gleaming golden walls ornamented with statuettes of animal-like demons and shiny glass cuttings; the high red or plum ceilings, from which small and sparkly glass chandeliers hang, hand-painted with gold flower motifs; the faded murals telling the story of the life of Buddha; the sea-green pools with bright fuscia lotus flowers; the detailed golden swirly, vine-and-leaf-like patterns painted on tall, black wooden doors: the high-rise stupas with steep stairs rising up to the middle; the eroded stone statues of Buddha in the lotus position; the golden bell-like dome glimmering in the sunlight...

(I could go on, but it'll take too much time and too much space. Besides, my descriptions aren't even close to the real thing.)

The experience, I felt, was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Just stepping foot on the palace grounds makes you feel good. The ruins in Ayutthaya made me wish I could travel back through time and witness the war.

I'll never forget this experience. I hope.

Too bad I have no camera :(

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?dael had a question at 2:18 PM

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

**i am.**

Here I am again
to say.

mouth and

blank is my mind like
a void;
chasm of nothingness

my fingers type this
text of no meaning

yet both are me
no meaning whatsoever
i am

surrounded but invisible
to the eye
i still speak
no sound on ears

Here I am again
to say.

i am.

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?dael had a question at 1:32 PM