Wednesday, January 07, 2004

On the third day of schooling bluh bluh bluh...

Lalalalala...lets see. What should I write? Maybe I should say that I've finally read more than half of my BM novel. It's only 200 hundred pages, so it's not such a big deal to you guys. Yes, I know that you've all read more...thousands more, perhaps. But to me, it's one big accomplishment, the fact that I never read my other novels...I read the synopses...and fooled my teacher that I actually read them...I hope she doesn't read this post...or I'm dead. I'm taking my studies seriously now. It's my last year in school, and I want to make the best out of it.

Lalalalala...what else hor? I've got too much in my head now to think clearly of what to post...This week's full of readings to be done. *sigh* But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. At least both my English and BM will improve, although not so much. *sigh*

I was having Bio class at the top most floor of the High School block. It's like 4th or 5th storey. Can't tell. But it's high. Anyways, there was this open door that led to a railing-less balcony. I was looking out and down...far drop, I thought. Then, when I sat down to be taught to, this weird thought came to my mind. I pictured myself running straight at the door and jumping off the balcony...freefalling to my death. It seemed to be the thing to do at that time. It was so...blissful. Something told me it's so easy to do...just run and jump...then you can leave this life.It's so weird for me to think that way...but it's not like I've never thought of commiting suicide. After that, I was like why am I thinking like this? I must be going crazy.

That's all. I don't want to strain my brain more than it's strained now...*sigh*...patience Lyndelle, patience.
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?dael had a question at 8:24 PM