Sunday, February 29, 2004
It's about time I blogged. I just didn't have the *desire* to blog within the past few days. Why? I'm just pure lazy. Besides, I had work to do. I still have work to do.
Tomorrow will be the first day of the progress tests. I really don't see the importance, and there's way to many tests in a year. I'd like to make a suggestion that we have four semesters instead of two. (But hey, who am I that the Ministry of Education will listen to, huh?) In that way, students will have four tests instead of, what, six tests in a year (?). If I'm mistaken, then, I apologize.
There was something that happened to me in church on Saturday. And I can't shake off the feelings I felt when it happened. I'm not sure whose great idea it was, okay, because I had a whole room of people laughing at me. And for goodness' sake, there was an adult in the room (who, I believe, was the one who made a crack about me). The people in the room were, unmistakably, laughing their heads off at me. I regretted responding to my friend's call. Apparently, he was the one who invited me to go into to room to be laughed at, but, luckily I didn't enter. I just watched from the outside. It was already bad enough from the outside. They were laughing at me like as if there was something really wrong with me.
And that adult person had such a big laughing mouth that I could've *stuffed* both my sandals and my underwear in that person's mouth. Then I'd really give them something to laugh about.
After that, I felt really down. It reminded my of a time in my life when I was ridiculed, if not bullied mercilessly, day after day for one miserable year. The whole class was against me. There was only one person in the class that didn't join in the teasing. Her name was Aarthi (yes, an Indian), and until today, I'm still thankful to her for being my friend at that time. I still remember the day when some of my "classmates" threw pens at me. They were really sharp, and caused my back to bleed. But I just endured it, because I really couldn't do anything about it. And I remember the day I was beaten up as well. It still makes me feel depressed when I think about it. Everyone in my class was against me. I even had to fake being ill just so that I could skip school. I even cried night after night. That whole year was hell for me.
I really wish what happened to me on Saturday didn't happen at all. I really wish it didn't happen...it brought back bad memories. I thought, after all this time, I've forgotten all about my painful past, but it caught up even before I could forget it. I really shouldn't have gone to the room. I really shouldn't have listened to my friend. God...the tears are coming. If only I could reverse time. I would ignore my friend. And I still can't believe it:
my friend called me to be ridiculed.
The scene of laughing faces are still vivid in my mind. It's playing over and over again. Gah...I really shouldn't have listened to my friend!!!
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