Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I've always doubted my Classical piano playing.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to other pianists, but I really can't help doing just that. There are so many great Classical pianists here and I feel like I should be as skillful.

Sadly, I'm not. At least I don't think I am.

I almost broke down in my piano lesson today. Let me just say that my new piano teacher is a very insightful, knowledgeable, and virtuostic pianist. She really knows how to teach and bring out the musical sense in her students, and each one of them has nothing but praise for her. And even just being with her for two months now, I couldn't agree with them more.

I just haven't been able to rise to her expectations. And although she doesn't show her frustration, I can feel it. I can't pull off the techniques she has taught me, and this just kills me. I've got most of my notes, and even when she tries not to be over-my-shoulder, I still make mistakes here and there where a pianist at my level shouldn't be making.

I'm not sure if she has picked up that I don't believe in my own Classical playing.

This killing me. Piano lessons are supposed to make you appreciate your pieces more in addition to improving your techniques and all that, but I feel like I dread them even more after lessons. The good thing is, my skills getting better. But I'm afraid I'm not getting there fast enough.

I feel like quitting. But I don't want to give up. (Not like I can quit anyway.)

Sorry for this depressed-sounding post. I just have to let it out, get it down on writing, and (hopefully) leave it there.

I seriously need a cheer-upper. Anything to make me feel better about my Classical playing.

?dael had a question at 3:17 PM